Well, today is day three here at UCSF, but I'd like to do a quick recap of yesterday.
Renn did not sleep that first night AT ALL. It was impossible, as every nurse from San Francisco came to check on him. He woke up at 3am, and let me know his tummy hurt and that he was kind of hungry. He didn't want anything besides an orange popsicle. So, we obliged!
Twenty minutes later, we saw that orange popsicle once again. Poor kiddo... At that point, I knew he was angry... Angry at the situation, angry that he was here again, angry at me for putting him in through this. It took all I had to not sob uncontrollably. And it was that exact moment when I realized that it was the 27th, and my mom had been gone for two months.
We were already over that stupid day.
As time went on, our sweet Jedi warrior did not want to eat. (In fact, we barely got him to drink a milkshake at 2:45pm). He just wanted nothing. At about 12:30, however, we were informed that we had "A whole bunch of people wanting to come in and see Renn". WHAT? Renn was semi asleep, and thought maybe Daddy had come back, but I knew exactly who those people were...
My 86 year old grand mother lives in Marin County, and my Uncle, Aunt, and sweet cousins (who live in Southern CA) were visiting her. Apparently they'd all decided to trek over and see Mr. Renn. It was incredible to see familiar, loving faces, in a place where loneliness and boredom quickly consume you. I am grateful that they came...
Even though the Jedi was having a hard time (it truly hurt for him to smile), I think it made a giant difference for him to be surrounded by people who loved him. He loves his Aunt and cousins so much. Of course lets not forget his Uncle "Dumpkin" , and all the antics that he provides.
Nana loved visiting with Renn... I think it was hard for her to see her great-grandson in such a state. He tried his best to wake up and interact with her. Poor baby, I could see it in his eyes that he was mad at himself for not being in a better mood. He told me today how excited he was to see them and that he wanted to give Nana a giant hug, "But Mommy, I wasn't myself. I wasn't happy."
Such a heart, that little man...
At around 3pm, I had finally had enough. Renn just wasn't recovering! So I sat with him, and said, "Honey, what's going on with you? You know it's safe to tell me. I think the bravest of all Jedis tell the truth. Will you tell me?"
He burst into tears and said, "But Jedis don't get scared. And if they're hurt, they don't say it because they are brave."
I held in my own tears... Our baby was in pain. Pain ALL DAY LONG, and didn't want to tell me because he wanted to be tough.
Heavenly Father, give me the same strength as my six year old...
Needless to say, we took care of that immediately. He had his typical giant-sized seizure (YAAAY!!), then went to sleep. He slept alllllll night, only waking when he was checked on. The nurse we had was so incredible. He (finally) brought out the faces chart- I call it "the faces of pain"- and Renn pointed to the saddest face on that sheet most of the night. It broke my heart. I felt so terrible. However, when I woke up at EIGHT-THIRTY this morning, I saw a smiling Renn, sitting up, and pointing to the happiest face on the chart.
I had my baby back!
The rest of the day today, we played video games together, we ate, and we spoke with both Dr. Genius and Dr. Incredi-Surgeon. The Doctors let me know that the MRI blip may have been nothing after all (worst part of our day), but that we were going to proceed as planned and have his removal surgery on Friday. Renn had another giant-sized seizure this afternoon, which will hopefully give us even more information.
Our precious boy is sleeping, once again... And tonight? No one will come in and check on us. We get to completely sleep, and I am so grateful.
Tomorrow should be an even better day!! Praising God always, and again I say, thank you for all your love, encouragement, and support.
My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.