"For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith."
1 John 5:4
WE HAD ENOUGH!!! THE WAIT IS OVER!
Tomorrow, 8:30am PT, our Jedi will go into (prayerfully) his final battle with seizures. He has had a grand total of six seizures captured, none during the day- which wasn't ideal, no, but they did the job. But that's not what we are excited about...
about him. He explained to us that Renn was all set for surgery; that he was ecstatic. He felt confident, and let us know what tissue, precisely, he would be taking out. He said that the area where Renn's seizures are stemming from is the lower part (Inferior Temporal Cortex) of Renn's temporal lobe. And... That's the ONLY part they will be removing.
It gets better.
My number one fear about this whole surgery was that Renn would wake up and not know who we were. That he wouldn't remember his love for reading, his favorite jokes, or even... Star Wars. I have been so scared about memory, I compiled a little album in my phone of the faces of all the people he loves... I didn't want him to forget. But, Dr. Incredi-Surgeon (who did NOT know of my fear) informed us that because we were not going to be removing his entire temporal lobe, Renn's memory would NOT be affected. The Hippocampus (the part responsible for a lot of memory) will remain intact.
Praise you, Jesus.
Dr. Incredi-Surgeon told us that Renn's odds of never having another seizure was 85%. WHAT??!! We were over the moon. I cried. The hubs cried. We knew... This was God. This is what we've been waiting for.
Funny thing about when God does something amazing in your life... It can take days, it can take hours, or- like in our case- it can take mere minutes before Satan likes to swoop in to give you doubt.
Good grief... Did he ever.
Not too long after Dr. Incredi-Surgeon left, Dr. Genius and the team came in. Their faces were serious and, dare I say, solemn. I nervously tried to make smart-aleck comments. No one laughed. Before I knew it, the air got sucked out of the room, and a very different conversation emerged. The team let us know that while the lower part of his temporal was definitely the starting point, their concern was the other areas that seemed to spark off when Renn would seize. They said that basically, there was NO guarantee that Renn would get better. Dr. Genius said that they had never, EVER had a case like Renn's, so there weren't real honest odds to give. But they gave us a 60% chance of success, and better odds that the "dormant" parts of his frontal lobe might trigger off and he would have seizures again at some point in his life.
You know what? I was mad. No, I was furious. In my heart, I knew this wasn't true. For some reason, I didn't feel like I was talking to the people we knew and trusted. Something felt so... so empty when they were speaking. Their eyes looked hallow. No depth... No twinkle of hope. I looked at my husband who was about to fall to the floor. He was defeated. That angered me more.
As they left with a, "Well, let's hope for the best." kind of attitude, Renn noticed a difference. He seemed cautious about the whole thing, where as before, he was confident.
It was time for God to show us that the peace we felt before was still there. We talked, and talked, and talked. And we came to the same conclusion... God wouldn't have led us here, if He didn't want something spectacular to happen. We have exhausted every medication available, Renn has taken every test possible, we have put thousands of miles on our car, spend hundreds in gas, hundreds in parking... we've shed more tears, held one another closer and closer, witnessed a complete change in our strength as a family and in our trust in God. We are here for a reason. Renn is here for a reason, and his life is going to make an impression on many. This is his story. And his chances WILL be 85%. Bar none.
So, let's pray together... Tomorrow is the biggest, most terrifying and exciting day in our six year old's life. Let us pray that God will protect him. Make up for the lost tissue. Seal off the "dormant" areas so that they stay dormant forever. Strengthen his mind and his heart. Keep him smiling. Keep him brave and confident in who he is. Give him a chance at life seizure free.
Stand with us. We will be wearing our Star Wars shirts for this Jedi who has shown us what heroism, tenacity, bravery, and strength looks like. We will be standing for him, and praying the entire 10+ hours he will be in surgery. This is the day we've all been waiting for... Tomorrow, this nightmare will be over.
May The Force Be With You, our sweet Jedi... Daddy, Mommy, Eli, and sooooo many others love you. We believe in you and who you are. We trust that God will carry you through, and this will enable you to lead others even more. You were given the name RENN for a reason... It means leader of men. You have people all over this world following you, son. We are so proud of you. Now... let's punch the Epilepsy out.
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”